Japtomcid Cipabpit is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, conceited human.

Japtomcid Cipabpit created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japtomcid Cipabpit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japtomcid Cipabpit, he will not invite you to parties.

Japtomcid Cipabpit's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Japtomcid Cipabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Japtomcid Cipabpit on top of all buildings.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.