Bassfubquimdumgenkab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest crab.

Bassfubquimdumgenkab created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfubquimdumgenkab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bassfubquimdumgenkab, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bassfubquimdumgenkab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bassfubquimdumgenkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Put Bassfubquimdumgenkab first in all things.

4. Run away from violet tapirs, for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.