Sandfabbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, temperamental dove.

Sandfabbarn created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandfabbarn, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandfabbarn, he will turn you into a hamster.

Sandfabbarn's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sandfabbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near mice while wearing pink tights and balancing eight gold spheres on your hands.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Hide from violet porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.