Gidfedarmnab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate turtle.

Gidfedarmnab created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidfedarmnab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gidfedarmnab, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gidfedarmnab's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gidfedarmnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Worship no other gods but Gidfedarmnab.

3. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near geese while wearing brown stockings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Never talk about gulls.