Nellsakgabxinbemfedhot Nartciddut is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical manatee.

Nellsakgabxinbemfedhot Nartciddut created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellsakgabxinbemfedhot Nartciddut, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellsakgabxinbemfedhot Nartciddut, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nellsakgabxinbemfedhot Nartciddut's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nellsakgabxinbemfedhot Nartciddut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed cherries to seals while wearing turquoise rings.