Tigflanpas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic faun.

Tigflanpas created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigflanpas, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tigflanpas, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tigflanpas' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tigflanpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always look after injured frogs.