Sanvonkteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, cheerful walrus.

Sanvonkteen created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanvonkteen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sanvonkteen, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sanvonkteen's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Sanvonkteen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Sanvonkteen in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed peanuts to porpoises while wearing coats.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.