Watrillgudrowranpig is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet troll.

Watrillgudrowranpig created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watrillgudrowranpig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Watrillgudrowranpig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Watrillgudrowranpig's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Watrillgudrowranpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. You must love Watrillgudrowranpig.

3. Run away from pink tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your neck orange.

5. Never look in ponds.