Sterbemhimortgedcen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, fast ferret.

Sterbemhimortgedcen created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Sterbemhimortgedcen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sterbemhimortgedcen, he will turn you into a dog.

Sterbemhimortgedcen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sterbemhimortgedcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sterbemhimortgedcen.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Sterbemhimortgedcen must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must pray to Sterbemhimortgedcen five times a day.