Targjapbep is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage jellyfish.

Targjapbep created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targjapbep, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Targjapbep, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Targjapbep's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Targjapbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Targjapbep on top of all buildings.

5. Never think ill of sick manatees.