Kenfebwig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful jackal.

Kenfebwig created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenfebwig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kenfebwig, he will throw large rocks at you.

Kenfebwig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kenfebwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Seals are not to be trusted.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.