Flapfadbass is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm spider.

Flapfadbass created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Flapfadbass, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapfadbass, he will turn you into a rat.

Flapfadbass' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Flapfadbass' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must love Flapfadbass.