Gunjatfot is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, temperamental squirrel.

Gunjatfot created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunjatfot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gunjatfot, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gunjatfot's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gunjatfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gunjatfot.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never look at comets.