Govwegyarl Hubdoglaport is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unfair otter.

Govwegyarl Hubdoglaport created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govwegyarl Hubdoglaport, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Govwegyarl Hubdoglaport, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Govwegyarl Hubdoglaport's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Govwegyarl Hubdoglaport's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.