Cummabtipzen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage camel.

Cummabtipzen created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Cummabtipzen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cummabtipzen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cummabtipzen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Cummabtipzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.