Capfagxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a small, happy swan.

Capfagxuc created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capfagxuc, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Capfagxuc, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Capfagxuc's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Capfagxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about porpoises.

5. Put Capfagxuc first in all things.