Yarlhigven is a god.

He takes the form of a large, all-knowing fish.

Yarlhigven created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlhigven, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarlhigven, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yarlhigven's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yarlhigven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mites.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about spacetime near aardvarks while wearing indigo corsets and balancing five copper spheres on your legs.

4. Never jump in the presence of grasshopers.

5. Always obey Yarlhigven's priests.