Afbigdaptif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful tapir.

Afbigdaptif created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afbigdaptif, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Afbigdaptif, he will refuse to believe in you.

Afbigdaptif's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Afbigdaptif's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Afbigdaptif.

2. Never talk about eagles.

3. Do not kill voles.

4. Do not keep four tortoises in a large pit.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.