Butlistwappop Fomstiglit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awesome toad.

Butlistwappop Fomstiglit created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butlistwappop Fomstiglit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Butlistwappop Fomstiglit, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Butlistwappop Fomstiglit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Butlistwappop Fomstiglit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near eagles while wearing red corsets and balancing four gold spheres on your hands.

2. Run away from pink manatees, for they are unholy.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Never sprint in the presence of seals.