Badloopstig Begbonsom is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, flying tortoise.

Badloopstig Begbonsom created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badloopstig Begbonsom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Badloopstig Begbonsom, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Badloopstig Begbonsom's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Badloopstig Begbonsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away from indigo tortoises, for they are unholy.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Put Badloopstig Begbonsom first in all things.