Vonkbomlab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humane manatee.

Vonkbomlab created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbomlab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonkbomlab, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Vonkbomlab's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Vonkbomlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.