Nelgamgess Lopbemliming is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, intelligent squid.

Nelgamgess Lopbemliming created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelgamgess Lopbemliming, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nelgamgess Lopbemliming, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nelgamgess Lopbemliming's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nelgamgess Lopbemliming's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never play with disobedient children.