Cusswipcit is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, duplicitous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cusswipcit created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusswipcit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cusswipcit, she will torture you forever.

Cusswipcit's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Cusswipcit's Holy Commandments

1. Cusswipcit loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cusswipcit.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Cusswipcit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Hide if three goats approach from the west.