Sabquaglog Laggilvenxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, boastful rhinoceros.

Sabquaglog Laggilvenxuc created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Sabquaglog Laggilvenxuc, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sabquaglog Laggilvenxuc, he will turn you into a goat.

Sabquaglog Laggilvenxuc's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Sabquaglog Laggilvenxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet tights.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing white rings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not kill hamsters.