Kamdotjab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent cobra.

Kamdotjab created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamdotjab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kamdotjab, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kamdotjab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kamdotjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat coconuts.