Jarnarmcit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish crow.

Jarnarmcit created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnarmcit, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jarnarmcit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jarnarmcit's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Jarnarmcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. You must never eat bananas.

5. Never mention tapirs.