Fabwabved Tonkontlan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, annoying mink.

Fabwabved Tonkontlan created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabwabved Tonkontlan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fabwabved Tonkontlan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Fabwabved Tonkontlan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Fabwabved Tonkontlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to porpoises while wearing pink hats.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never laugh in the presence of great tits.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Do not covet oxen.