Vogbogtinlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving monkey.

Vogbogtinlarn created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogbogtinlarn, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vogbogtinlarn, she will destroy your favourite star.

Vogbogtinlarn's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vogbogtinlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near bats while wearing black boots and balancing six carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vogbogtinlarn.