Tabnutmet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, irritating goblin.

Tabnutmet created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabnutmet, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tabnutmet, it will turn you into a tree.

Tabnutmet's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tabnutmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Tabnutmet on top of important buildings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Never jump in the presence of gulls.