Fatlargnigbagcisszanfid Jintifnur is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate faun.

Fatlargnigbagcisszanfid Jintifnur created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fatlargnigbagcisszanfid Jintifnur, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fatlargnigbagcisszanfid Jintifnur, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fatlargnigbagcisszanfid Jintifnur's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fatlargnigbagcisszanfid Jintifnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never wear shirts.