Bemsitomin is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered goat.

Bemsitomin created the Virgo Supercluster three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemsitomin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bemsitomin, she will think nothing of it.

Bemsitomin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bemsitomin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never sprint in holy places.