Bopbidtarg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever hippopotamus.

Bopbidtarg created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopbidtarg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bopbidtarg, it will curse you with boils.

Bopbidtarg's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bopbidtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the south.