Figgomtap Rullitfag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, strong cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Figgomtap Rullitfag created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Figgomtap Rullitfag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Figgomtap Rullitfag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Figgomtap Rullitfag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Figgomtap Rullitfag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never skip in holy places.