Fasnilnakhab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody gerbil.

Fasnilnakhab created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasnilnakhab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fasnilnakhab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fasnilnakhab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Fasnilnakhab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fasnilnakhab first in all things.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Fasnilnakhab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.