Zogdisstam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring bear.

Zogdisstam created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogdisstam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zogdisstam, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Zogdisstam's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Zogdisstam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never run near squirrels.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Fast once a month.