Podmitxin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful pigeon.

Podmitxin created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Podmitxin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Podmitxin, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Podmitxin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Podmitxin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Podmitxin.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.