Xucquim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, vain bat.

Xucquim created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucquim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xucquim, she will send you a sign.

Xucquim's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Xucquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands pink.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never feed apples to ants while wearing indigo kilts.

4. Put Xucquim first in all things.

5. Xucquim loves goats, so they must be honoured.