Zigvonbag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unfair seal.

Zigvonbag created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Zigvonbag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zigvonbag, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Zigvonbag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Zigvonbag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. You must love Zigvonbag.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zigvonbag.