Funbellfom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciful crow.

Funbellfom created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funbellfom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Funbellfom, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Funbellfom's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Funbellfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Funbellfom in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Never eat bark.