Govgutbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, egotistical walrus.

Govgutbarn created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Govgutbarn, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Govgutbarn, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Govgutbarn's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Govgutbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Otters are not to be trusted.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.