Tonkbessgem is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, effective jaguar.

Tonkbessgem created the Virgo Supercluster two years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbessgem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonkbessgem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tonkbessgem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tonkbessgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Always look after injured turtles.

3. Never feed bread to tapirs while wearing cyan skirts.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Pray towards the north.