Kabnignelquam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, smart crocodile.

Kabnignelquam created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabnignelquam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kabnignelquam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kabnignelquam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Kabnignelquam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about hamsters.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.