Yokcaning is a god.

He takes the form of a small, proud naga.

Yokcaning created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokcaning, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yokcaning, he will turn you into a dog.

Yokcaning's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Yokcaning's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. You must love Yokcaning.