Nillcitmil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, staggering snake.

Nillcitmil created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillcitmil, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nillcitmil, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nillcitmil's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nillcitmil's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry squirrels.

2. Do not kill porpoises.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not shave your chest.