Damyarlmab is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered grasshopper.

Damyarlmab created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Damyarlmab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Damyarlmab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Damyarlmab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Damyarlmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing fawn tights.

2. Never hurt bats.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to voles while wearing violet hats.