Zogfobceb Tamkarloopzagveddodpop Quafvendonnabyatwitloppang is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage bear.

Zogfobceb Tamkarloopzagveddodpop Quafvendonnabyatwitloppang created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogfobceb Tamkarloopzagveddodpop Quafvendonnabyatwitloppang, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zogfobceb Tamkarloopzagveddodpop Quafvendonnabyatwitloppang, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zogfobceb Tamkarloopzagveddodpop Quafvendonnabyatwitloppang's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zogfobceb Tamkarloopzagveddodpop Quafvendonnabyatwitloppang's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near cats.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.