Dogstafcab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy bat.

Dogstafcab created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Dogstafcab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dogstafcab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Dogstafcab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Dogstafcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to ducks while wearing green dresses.

4. Always look after injured dogs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dogstafcab.