Gumfagrillyimpid is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, benevolent narwhal.

Gumfagrillyimpid created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gumfagrillyimpid, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumfagrillyimpid, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gumfagrillyimpid's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Gumfagrillyimpid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gumfagrillyimpid first in all things.

2. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.