Pitbinhud is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking clam.

Pitbinhud created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbinhud, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pitbinhud, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pitbinhud's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Pitbinhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Pitbinhud must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed cherries to otters while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Retreat if four cats approach from the east.