Bonktigjambim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing lion.

Bonktigjambim created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Bonktigjambim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonktigjambim, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bonktigjambim's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bonktigjambim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near turtles while wearing purple boots and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.

2. Retreat if six squirrels approach from the north.

3. You must pray to Bonktigjambim eight times a day.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.